Overcoming self-doubt can feel like an uphill battle, especially in a world where we’re constantly comparing our achievements to others. It’s easy to feel like we’re constantly falling short. As we scroll through social media feeds filled with career updates, travel photos, and life milestones, the comparisons can be overwhelming.
We start to question our success, feeling as though our accomplishments pale in comparison to the lives we see online. But here’s the reality: you’re more successful than you think.
As a mentor, I frequently meet people who don’t believe in their abilities. They confide in me, saying things like, “I don’t think I have what it takes to be successful,” or “I’m just not good enough.”
And every time, I remind them that they’ve built up a network of mental barriers—beliefs that hold them back. These walls keep us from seeing our potential, and they start early in life.
But just as these beliefs were built, they can also be deconstructed.
Here, we’ll explore why we underestimate ourselves, the consequences of constant comparison, and how to recognise our worth.
Why We Underestimate Ourselves
Overcoming self-doubt is essential in a society that encourages us to look outward for validation, rather than inward for self-approval.
Feeling inadequate is surprisingly common, even among high achievers. Researchers have found that nearly 70% of people experience “imposter syndrome” at some point in their lives, a phenomenon where individuals doubt their abilities and fear being exposed as frauds, regardless of their achievements (American Psychological Association).
Imposter syndrome can be especially pervasive in professional environments, where people feel pressured to prove themselves repeatedly.
From a young age, we’re conditioned to seek approval from others, whether it’s parents, teachers, or employers.
This desire for validation shapes our mindset. Instead of finding worth within ourselves, we rely on external indicators to gauge our success. We end up focused on meeting expectations, chasing achievements, and gaining social approval, often losing sight of what we’ve truly accomplished.
Social media has amplified this effect. Studies show that prolonged social media use is linked to higher rates of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem, with comparisons to others playing a significant role (Royal Society for Public Health, UK).
When we’re constantly exposed to carefully curated versions of other people’s lives, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling behind.
The Double-Edged Sword of Comparison
Comparison can be a useful motivator, but it’s also a trap. It can give us a sense of where we stand in our fields or among our peers, but too much comparison often leads to feelings of inadequacy. Constantly measuring ourselves against others robs us of the joy of our accomplishments.
Reflecting on past achievements is one of the most effective methods for overcoming self-doubt and reshaping your inner narrative.
In a 2023 survey, more than 50% of young adults reported that social media made them feel less successful in their lives, indicating how pervasive this issue is in the digital age (YouGov).
Psychologists explain that social comparison is a natural human tendency, but the way we handle it determines its impact. When we see someone excelling in an area where we feel weak, instead of inspiring us, it can lead to what’s known as “upward social comparison,” which often damages our self-esteem.
And the effects aren’t just psychological—this mindset can also impact our motivation. Studies show that people who are less satisfied with their success are more likely to feel stuck or less motivated to pursue future goals (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology).
Building Mental Resilience and Changing Perspective
If we’re conditioned to seek external approval, how do we break free from that mindset? It begins with self-reflection. Often, we overlook our successes because we’re so focused on what we haven’t achieved. One useful exercise is writing down your accomplishments, big and small.
Looking back, many people are surprised by how much they’ve done.
A 2022 study from Harvard Business School found that people who regularly reflect on their accomplishments report significantly higher job satisfaction and self-confidence. This simple practice can help us appreciate our progress and gain perspective on our achievements.
Another strategy is setting personal goals that align with your values, rather than societal expectations. When we chase goals rooted in our values, we’re more likely to feel fulfilled. Psychologists call this concept “intrinsic motivation.”
For example, a study published in Psychological Science found that people who pursue intrinsically motivated goals, like personal growth or community contributions, are happier and report higher life satisfaction than those focused on extrinsic goals like financial success or social recognition.
Overcoming Self-Doubt By Embracing Rejection as a Learning Opportunity
One of the main barriers to self-confidence is the fear of rejection. Many people internalise rejection as a reflection of their worth. But rejection is a normal, even necessary part of life. Learning how to handle rejection is one of the keys to growth. According to a 2019 study from the University of California, Berkeley, people who viewed rejection as a learning experience had a higher level of resilience and adaptability.
The job market, for example, is a classic environment for rejection. A report from the UK’s Office for National Statistics noted that the average job seeker faces between 10 to 15 rejections before landing a role. Instead of viewing each rejection as a setback, seeing it as a step forward can make the process less daunting.
Rejection gives us a chance to reflect, improve, and reframe our approach. It’s not a reflection of our ability but an opportunity to learn and grow.
Overcoming Self-Doubt By Celebrating Your Successes, No Matter How Small
If we take the time to reflect, we’ll likely realise that we’ve overcome a series of challenges. We’ve learned new skills, adapted to new roles, faced difficult situations, and pushed through times of uncertainty. Yet, when faced with the next hurdle, we often discount everything we’ve achieved up until that point.
But just because one job specification didn’t match, or someone turned you down, doesn’t mean you haven’t accomplished anything worthwhile.
Remember, your journey is unique, and your achievements are real. Success isn’t just about the major milestones; it’s also about the everyday wins.
Taking pride in the small achievements helps build resilience and keeps you motivated. Research shows that people who take time to celebrate small victories experience more optimism and are more likely to persevere through challenges (American Psychological Association).
Reclaiming Confidence: Simple Steps to Feel More Successful
- Practice Self-Reflection
Keep a journal of your accomplishments, goals, and daily wins. Reflecting on your growth, even once a week, can help you gain perspective on how far you’ve come. - Stop Negative Comparisons
If comparing yourself to others leaves you feeling demotivated, limit your social media time or unfollow accounts that trigger self-doubt. Use comparison as inspiration rather than competition. - Find a Mentor or Coach
Having someone who can provide perspective, guidance, and feedback can help you see your strengths and develop a positive mindset. Studies show that mentoring increases self-esteem and goal achievement rates by 20–30% (Journal of Applied Psychology). - Reframe Rejection
Instead of seeing rejection as failure, view it as feedback. Ask yourself what you learned and how you can improve. This shift helps build resilience and adaptability over time. - Set Realistic Goals
Focus on goals that align with your values and long-term vision. When goals are meaningful, you’re more motivated and likely to achieve them.
Remember: You’re Already Successful
While society often promotes the idea of continuous achievement, success is ultimately subjective. It’s not just about wealth, titles, or accolades—it’s about growth, resilience, and self-fulfillment.
Embrace your journey, and remember that every step you take contributes to your success. You’ve already overcome countless obstacles and achieved more than you realise. It’s time to start seeing yourself for who you are: capable, resilient, and more successful than you think.